Man Tells Wife He Was Joking When He Proposed 20 Years Ago [Photo]

viaHuffPo reports:

David is a husband, father and former pastor who has been married to his high school sweetheart, Jennifer, for 20 years. Together, they have two sons and, as it would appear on the outside, an ordinary relationship. But David has been living a double life for years.

Secretly, he has been cheating, hiding a pornography addiction and visiting online chat rooms to meet sex partners. Though she’s aware of the betrayals and lies within her marriage, Jennifer is desperate to keep the relationship going and writes to Iyanla Vanzant seeking her advice and counsel in how to move forward as a couple. When Iyanla arrives, she learns more about the situation.

David has moved into his own apartment, but can’t seem to fully let go, still coming home for weekly dinners. Jennifer still wears her wedding ring — and wears David’s, which he took off two years ago. Both David and Jennifer had difficult childhoods, but found comfort in each other. So, when David playfully asked Jennifer to marry him, she said yes. David says that the day the two got engaged was the day his marriage ended, because it was something he never seriously wanted.

Iyanla tells David that he must be honest with himself and his wife. In the above video from “Iyanla: Fix My Life”, she has the estranged couple sit down together so David can tell Jennifer the truth about the proposal that began their complicated lives together.

“So, Mr. David,” Iyanla begins. “What is it you need to communicate to Ms. Jennifer for moving forward?”
For a moment, David is quiet as his wife stares at him. Then he speaks. “I didn’t want to be married”, he tells Jennifer. “At the time that I asked…”

David’s voice trails off and Iyanla prepares Jennifer for what’s to come. “Take a breath, Ms. Jenn”, she says. “Take a breath.” David continues. “You know the manner in which I asked [you to marry me]? You’re taking it seriously. I didn’t mean it jokingly, but I was joking. I was lying,” he says. “I accepted your ‘yes’ as a means of feeling normal”.

Jennifer does not speak. David tries to convey his feelings. “My choices to remain in a marriage that I knew I didn’t want, it does not diminish that I care. It doesn’t diminish that I love you. Because I do”, he says. “I do want you to be my friend”.


How would you react if you’re hubby told you that your marriage was basically a joke?

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I love my boyfriend, but my family says I should leave him because he is too ugly!

I’m a 20year old girl, dating a 28year old guy. We are thinking and have discussed settling down next year. We have been dating for 2yrs now, and I am very much in love with him and his personality. He is loving, caring, very educated and very intelligent as he is a doctor and super humble.. but the issue with him is his looks.

\He is taller than me tho, but he is not so handsome physically, he is not ugly to me anymore. Truth be told is whenever I see him, I just see peace and joy. He has this skin problem (a whole lot of pimple on his face and super oily skin). I’m a very beautiful girl (no bragging) and I have never really cared about looks. I go more for the inner man.

I really did think my man was presentable until I took him home. You needed to have seen the faces of my siblings, my mum. They were not impressed at all. My mum clearly told me she was disappointed with me. My aunty clearly told me to dump him that I deserved better.. I cried, I tried explaining to them how good he is to me but no one seems to understand. My mum is now using his tribe as an excuse, saying she doesn’t like his family but that is not true!

I’m so sad. What do I do? Everyone says am still too young that I would see better men. But I dream of this dude always! I want to have his kids. Even if I bend to my family demands, what do I tell him? He is physically fit, doesn’t have any challenge whatsoever. Please advice me..

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Ladies Read and Learn! 6 Things Women Do That Push Men Away

You need to read this because it will be of help to you in your relationship......

1. Wanting a Man to Change
Many women get in a relationship thinking they can change the man. If a man makes a change for a relationship, the benefit must outweigh the consequences of that change. “I get it: You don’t want anything to make me as happy as you do. But if you’re willing to chase this result by eliminating everything else I might love from my life, then I don’t want you”, says Good.

2. An Overwrought Sense of Urgency
“Man Code” men liken romance to playing poker. “It’s better to conserve emotion for only the most meaningful circumstances,” Good says. While men pay attention to overall themes, women tend to sweat the small stuff. He wants women to know that ulterior motives are not a Man Code man thing to play at, if he’s out late with his friends, he’s just out late with his friends.

3. S*x on the First Date
Unfortunate but true, the “Man Code” man is chivalrous but also “red-blooded and carnal” like most guys. If a woman offers séx on the first, any man will probably take her up on that. A woman that can walk away with a goodnight kiss and leave the man guessing appeals much more to men. They like the thrill of a chase.

4. Talking Things to Death
According to Good, women need to think of love as “quiet.” In other words, it’s what you do when no one is looking, how you find their hand when things are bad and tell them it’s okay. If you hear “I love you” constantly it loses it’s value. “Love is the result of the events in our lives, not the result of talking about the idea of it,” assures Good.

5. Disloyalty
Loyalty is everything, it is the currency of our lives, declares Good. When women are disloyal to other women, it tells the man they will be disloyal to them, too.

6. A Failure to Let a Lion be a Lion
In the same way that a women wants to feel taken care of and protected, a man wants to know he’s the one that made her feel that way. Good explains, “With a look or word, you can empower us.”

Good has one powerful piece of advice for women: Don’t forget why your man fell for you. Woman AND men seem to stop doing the little things they did at the beginning of a relationship that made it fun. Think back and try doing some of the little things you “used” to do for him.

Read this article in GalTime 

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46 YEAR OLD Regina Askia Shows Off Her Bikini Body? - See Photos

 What do you think? Hot Or Not? Don’t forget she is a mum of 3 and she is 46 now.

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7 Simple Steps That Would Make Her Say YES!

I understand you have always wanted her, but she wouldn’t just co-operate! Your heart race every time you see her, but she insisted that she wouldn’t date you….. Here are things you should do that would make her change her decision and give you a big YES!

1. Turn your weaknesses to strength. What are those things that might have made her say a ‘no’ at first? Work on them!

2. Be fashionable. This doesn’t means you have to go about in all the designer wears. Just ensure you dress properly, be neat and have a high self esteem. Be courageous as well.

3. Quit chasing after her. Chances are she would get distance herself away from you if you continue to run after her.

4. Find out what are interests are – Dancing, baking, writing and travelling are some of the activities enjoyed by girls. Know what hers are, and learn them. Enjoy doing them too.

5. Find a way to meet her on neutral grounds and be her friend. Be free with her and give a helping hand when required.

6. Make friends with her friends. This is another way to get close to her.

7. Be humorous. Let her see the lively aspect of you, she would know you are cool to be with!

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Relationship Tips: 4 Reasons To Dump Him Quick

The best partners are the ones who make you feel great in your own skin and who you can relax around.

Having doubts about your man? How do you know when it’s time to kick him to the curb? There are all kinds of deal breakers out there, but if you spot one or more of these four red flags, it’s time for him to hit the road.

1. He isn’t supportive
The modern woman expects a true life partner. Gone are the days of aspiring to take care of a man or putting your needs on the backburner for his. Non-supportive traits include:

-Making fun of or belittling your goals and ambitions in career or life

-Making you feel guilty for spending time at work

-Not helping around the house

-Ignoring you in times of need or distress

-Pressuring you into making life decisions like quitting your job, moving or having children

If you bring it up and he still doesn’t get it, dump him.

2. You can’t be yourself around him
Are you playing a character of who you think he wants to be with? Not only does this perpetuate a relationship based on lies (even if it’s just through omission), but it also can be detrimental to your emotional well-being. Lying about your job or considering a breast enhancement just to impress someone or to fit into their “ideal” is a bad idea. The best partners are the ones who make you feel great in your own skin and who you can relax around. If you reveal your true self to someone you’re dating, and he doesn’t appreciate your true colors, dump him.

3. He’s a user
We all know the type – the freeloading dude who spends his days in the coffee shop, nights playing in a band and lives with his parents. However, users aren’t always this easy to spot. It may start slowly as he “forgets” his wallet or has his car “repaired,” but if you notice that these situations are becoming more normal than exceptions, it’s time to run. You are not an ATM, a taxi driver, a cell phone provider, hotel or sex machine. A real relationship consists of contributions from both sides — not just emotionally but also financially. If you think he’s taking advantage of your generosity, dump him.

4. He doesn’t get along with your friends and/or family
What would life be without your girlfriends? Any person you are seriously considering dating also will most likely spend time with the people in your life who you care about. While variety is the spice of life, if you find that your new boo and your friends or family are getting into knock-down, drag-out fights, he speaks to them inappropriately or talks about them badly in public, despite your feelings, dump him

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Relationship Tips: How To Use The Law Of Attraction To Find Your Soulmate

The law of attraction is the belief that “like attracts like” and that by focusing on positive thoughts, we can bring about positive results. By understanding and following this simple rule, you will be empowered to attract a lifelong partner. There is nothing you cannot be, do or have when you know how to activate and use this unlimited power that lies within you. Here are 10 ways to use the law of attraction to find and keep your soulmate.

1. Be positively clear about what you want in a mate. Each “failed” relationship has given you clues about what you want in your ideal partner. The problem is many women and men focus on the negative instead of the positve. For example, by saying that you don’t want a man who “puts his work before the relationship” you are focusing on a man who puts work before love and that is the desire you are unconsciously sending out through your energy.

The good news is, if you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want. Your power to create lies in your ability to choose thoughts that are positively clear, so that you can tell the universe exactly what you desire. (“I want a man who puts me first and loves me unconditionally.”) You can tell if your affirmation is positive or negative by the way it makes you feel. If it makes you feel great, it is positive. If it makes you feel bad, it is negative. It’s that simple! If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, simply turn them around and start focusing on the positive. You will immediately feel better and you will be in alignment with love.

2. Continue to dream it. If you are ready for love, one of the best things you can do is get lost in day dreaming about your perfect mate. As you imagine your ideal partner, the universe receives these images as indicators of what to create in your life. In your imagination, you can create and improve on your desired relationship it until it meets your highest ideal. Once you have that ideal image in your mind, replay it over and over until one day soon you will find yourself actually living it. The power of your imagination is unstoppable and can transform your love life

3. Fall in love with yourself. You can’t expect someone else to fall in love with you if you are not in love with yourself. When we judge or criticize ourselves, we send out an energy that repels others. Self-criticism is a negative energy that will repel potential mates. On the other hand, self-love is attractive and attracts potential mates. Make a list of ten characteristics you love about yourself and put this list where you can see it every day. It doesn’t really matter what is on the list as long as it easily generates good feelings that you have toward yourself. The more you focus on what you love about yourself, the more self-love you will experience. Others will fall in love with you too, simply because it feels great to be around people who love themselves.

4. Say “no” to jealousy. It’s natural to feel jealous when we see someone experiencing something we desire and don’t have, but jealousy will actually keep love from coming to you. Jealousy is a negative emotion and will repel what you desire. Instead of feeling jealous, understand if you are seeing someone else living your dream, your dream is getting closer. So instead of being jealous, celebrate the love you see and bless all the loving relationships you witness. In this way, you are telling the universe to bring you some of that! (And it will!)

 

5. Don’t give up. The number one reason the law of attraction doesn’t appear to work is that people give up before their wish is granted. It’s like ordering a delicious meal and walking out the diner before your order arrives. The order is on its way, but if you are no longer in alignment with it, you will miss out. When it comes to love, people get disappointed when their dates don’t meet their expectations and they don’t see evidence that true love is coming. Out of disappointment or fear of being disappointed, they give up — never knowing what they missed. The key to the law of attraction is that once you are clear you desire something specific, you must commit to it for as long as it takes to manifest in your life.

6. Don’t give in to doubt. We live in an obliging universe where it is possible to experience all our dreams and desires. One of the biggest obstacles in manifesting what we desire is doubt. We want something, but we doubt that it’s possible. It is actually the doubt that keeps it from coming. Knowing is a positve energy and opens the door for attraction. Doubt is a negative energy and closes that same door. When you are in alignment with attracting your perfect mate, there is a sense of knowing he/she is on their way.

7. Enjoy yourself now. Don’t wait for love to find you in order to start living. You will attract what you are: if you are a couch potato, you will attract a coach potato. If you desire a mate who is active, goes skiing and likes to read, you better start jogging, getting on the slopes and hanging out in Barnes & Noble. Don’t wait for him/her to arrive in order to live your best life. Start living your best life right now and you will become super attractive so that special person will be able to spot you in a crowd — because you shine.

8. Become the future you. There is a current “single you” and a future partnered or married you. One of the best ways to use the law of attraction to attract your perfect guy or girl is to become the person who is already in the relationship. This is how it works: think of yourself now and think of yourself in your perfect relationship. How are you different? Who do you become once you are in the relationship? Maybe your answer is, “I become relaxed, confident, loving and kind.” Your answer is your clue to who you must become now.

Don’t wait for the relationship to manifest, you must first become the person who already has these qualities. This includes preparing your space for the partner of your dreams: Clean out your closet, empty a draw or replace that worn-out wallpaper. Think of all the ways in which you can prepare yourself and your life to be in perfect alignment with your perfect mate.

9. Get your beliefs in order. Examine your beliefs about love and clean up any beliefs that don’t support attracting, having and keeping your perfect relationship (“I’m not attractive enough” … “I don’t make enough money” … “All the good ones are taken”). The universe has a way of making your beliefs true, so if a belief doesn’t support what you really want, it is time to drop it and develop beliefs that do. The universe responds to your feelings about yourself; if you are feeling unworthy or undeserving, the universe reflects this back.

10. Don’t question how it will happen. Your job is to clearly and positively define what you most desire and to get in alignment with your desire through all the ways described above. Your job is not the how. Don’t get caught up on how it’s going to happen. We live in a magical universe that can bring you exactly what you desire in the most amazing and even unbelievable ways. Getting caught up in the how can actually impede the law of attraction. If you are trying to control the how, you are likely getting in the way and making it more difficult than it has to be. Instead, let go of any ideas about how it has to happen and allow the universe to do its magic.

This doesn’t mean you sit home and do nothing. The difference is that you await inspired action. Inspired action is that sudden feeling you should go the coffee shop even if you are not thirsty or you should get gas on the other side of the street. The law of attraction communicates to you through your intuition so make sure you are listening and following those gut feelings. Most of all, be open to all possibilities — you never know how the universe will deliver.

YourTango

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5 Financial Questions To Ask Before Getting Married

No one needs to know you started pinning ideas for thewedding after your second date. Planning is a good thing!

Although money matters aren’t nearly as fun as picking out the theme, the colors, the cake flavor or the wedding gown, discussing your philosophies on budgeting is just as important as anything else you plan for your marriedlife ahead. An alarming number of couples eventually break up over money. (Don’t be one of them!)

We’ve compiled a handy list of 20 questions to help you discuss your personal financial history, your individual approach to money and your hopes for the future related to money. Here are a few to get you started:

1. How did your parents spend money?

2. What mistakes have you made with money?

3. Do you track your spending and saving?

4. What stresses you out when it comes to money?

5. What are your Primary and Secondary Money Personalities?

It doesn’t have to be boring. On your next date night, make plans to meet somewhere new—a rooftop, the lake, the new lounge downtown—but take some time to hear what your significant other has to say about money. If you’re not sure about your Primary and Secondary Money Personalities, take ten minutes and find out with our free, scientific Money Personality Quiz.

You know you’re curve-breakers. Understand how you both approach money and you will join the ranks of those happy couples who discuss, compromise and agree on money matters.

-Tango

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A Must Read : How You Can Resist The Temptation Of Cheating On Your Partner

Human beings, by nature, are prone to temptation. Everyone is likely to be tempted to cheat at some point in a relationship. Here are some tips to help you resist the temptation to cheat on your partner.

1, Resist and Flee:

The best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it. Run away from it like it’s a disease. Don’t overestimate your strength and think you can handle it. While it’s natural to find someone attractive ,avoid taking it to the next level. As humans, we always want more, especially when it comes to s*xual attraction. When you step into the world of temptation, you’ll always want more.

2, Think About the Consequences:

People mostly make mistakes because they don’t think about the future. Think about what you’re trying to do. Will it be worth it in the end? Imagine what would happen if your partner finds out. Also remember, that in the end, cheating makes you feel horrible. Before you do it, think about what you stand to lose.

3, Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes:

The golden rule applies here. Do unto others as you’d like to be done to you. Would you like to be cheated on? I’m guessing the answer is no. Consider your partner’s feelings and imagine if you were in their position. That should do the trick.

4, Be Determined:

Human beings are capable of very amazing things when they put in their best. You are stronger than you realize. Determination is the key to success in any endeavour. Just be determined not to cheat and it will do wonders.

5, Prepare Yourself:

The greatest weapon of battle is the element of surprise. Don’t let yourself be caught by surprise. You are human and you will definitely be tempted. Preparation will ensure that you’re ready to handle the problem when it arises.

Knowing how to resist temptation in love isn’t about hiding from temptation. It’s about genuinely understanding that what you share with your own partner is a lot more special, and worth more than any affair in the entire world.

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I'm In Love With My Girlfriend, But The Bride Price Is Just Too Much

Hello. I have been dating my girl for about five years now. I proposed to her and she agreed to marry me. However after fixing the date from the traditional Wedding, her parents are asking for five million naira as Bride Price. I told my girlfriend to appeal to them to at least reduce it to two million but her parents refuse. They say its an extended family decision like her Uncles and other relatives. I don't understand. I love my girl and she loves me. She's from Orlu, Imo State. I need your advice. Thanks

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7 Signs Your Girlfriend Is About to Break Up With You

Are you afraid that the special girl in your life is about to call it quits? Here are a few warning signs you should look out for.

1. She Doesn’t Make Future Plans

Planning ahead is a major factor that shows that a relationship is serious. Women in love usually can’t resist discussing the future. They want to talk about marriage and kids and everything connected to that. If your girl suddenly stops talking about a future with you, then it’s time to be worried.

2. She Avoids Your Family & Friends

A girlfriend that wants to be a permanent feature in your life will make an effort to get close to your family and your friends. If she starts avoiding your family and friends and dodging your family engagements then it’s very likely that she no longer wants to be a part of your life.

3. She Doesn’t Confide In You

If your girlfriend begins to tell everyone else but you her problems, then you have a serious problem of your own. A girlfriend who’s still interested in being with you will highlight your importance in her life by sharing her sorrows and her joys with you. 

4. She Doesn’t Argue With You

It’s virtually impossible to find any human relationship with absolutely no conflict. If your girlfriend no longer argues with you, it simply means she has chosen not to bother herself with you anymore because she’s planning to leave you and she’s decided that you’re someone else’s problem, not hers.

5. She’s Never Available

If your girl used to answer your calls before the first ring even finished and now you can barely ever reach her, that is a sign that she may want to break up. If she also never wants to hang out with you anymore, it’s very likely that she’s planning to leave you.

6. She Never Calls You

If the girl who used to enjoy talking to you for hours on end suddenly stops calling, it’s a sure sign that the end has come.

7. She Cries For No Reason

If your girlfriend is always crying for no apparent reason, it may be a sign that she’s unhappy with you and she’s already planning to leave. Most girls break up with a man about 10 times in their minds before they eventually do it in the physical. Her tears might be her way of grieving over your already dead relationship.

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DAD SAID I AM SWEETER THAN MUM IN BED...PLEASE HELP.

I am a 17yrs girl and in Mathare High School Kenya....

When i'm in holiday, i enjoy walking with Dad than Mum. 

I have this problem that i get s**xually attracted to my Dad no matter how i try to control myself. 

i seduced him yesterday when my mum was

away in a wedding and we ended up making love.. 

I have a boyfriend but I just get attracted to my Dad and i just dont no why..

i just feel like having s***x with him again and again.. 

What shud i do to stop this? 

Because he told me that i am sweeter than mum.

please help..

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