5 Signs she wants sex

Focus on what she's not telling you in bed by reading her body language

It's a universally accepted fact that women are complicated, confusing beings who, in spite of talking incessantly, rely a lot on non-verbal communication to convey their inner-most thoughts. So it's left to you to unravel the mystery of their look, sigh or grump.


Since they manage to take the same trait into the bedroom and you might find yourself befuddled at her reactions, wondering if she's rubbing up against you out of extreme desire or as a distraction tactic to get you to stop doing what you're doing. We help you decode her subtle body language in bed, so you're abreast of whether you're doing it right or need to up your ante. If you manage to read your cues right, you'll be suitable rewarded and her body will display overall signs of arousal that can't be faked. Here are a few:

In her arms
If instead of holding you, her arms are held close to her body, there might be a little something going on, you should take note of. In some positions she might need her arms to support her weight, but in most cases, if she's consciously holding her arms close, she is clearly not letting go with wild abandon. She shouldn't want to be covering herself up. If however, they're above your or her head, on your chest, splayed out on the sheets or held out on either side, it's her way of telling you, she's comfortable with where she is and there's no need to hold back.

Breathing heavy
This is usually a dead give away and impossible to mask or fake. As the body is excited and turned on, the breath becomes more urgent and rapid. Involuntary moans are made as air rapidly makes its way through her vocal chords. The heart rate increases as the body prepares for an orgasm, making her internal organs demand more oxygen. A thumping heart rate and urgent breathing should let you know that you're on the right track. However, if immediately after a big orgasm, she's back to a slow restful pace of breath, you just witnessed a big show.

Writhing heights
When a body enthusiastically responds to another, it urges for proximity. If she's grinding or pushing herself against you, trying to hold or hug you, her body language is as inviting as it gets. Curling toes are another good indicator, but try to catch a glance offhand. If the motion is subconscious, it's probably genuine. If however, she's lying there waiting for you to do all the hard work, there's probably a little that's happening in terms of arousal for her. You need to regroup and restart. Try changing positions or focus on her erogenous zones to get her attention.

Hip action
A little known secret about good sex is that it's tremendously synchronized. The way the bodies were designed, they were meant to move repeatedly in the same motion until both achieved a climax. So if you find her matching your moves, you've hit the right notes and just need to make it to the finish line. Sometimes it takes a little time to get in sync but if you don't see it happening, chances are that her body is telling you it wants something else, another position perhaps. Wait for her to respond with the same intensity.


In the deep
Once you are in the zone and aiming for the finish, given the sensitivity of organs involved, you should be able to feel her strong internal muscles act against yours. With spasms and some amount of clenching, you'll get a good idea of how well you're doing. However, don't use it as a benchmark since not all women have the same amount of control over their kegel muscles. Some amount of contraction and relaxation that you may feel could be for her own pleasure, but pay close attention to what her overall intensity is telling you.

What works for one woman may never work for another but the idea is to be attuned to the feedback her body language is giving you. If you feel like you're not in sync, pause and try something new. Avoid sticking to a routine or becoming predictable. Spice things up with experimentation, teasing and tantalizing your partner and keep an eye out for fake moans and forced emotions

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Tips on How To Bounce Back From a Broken Heart

How To Bounce Back From a Broken Heart

At first, you were afraid, you felt petrified? Kept thinking you could never live without your ex by your side? Panic not. Whether your split was months ago or just yesterday, match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor is here to tell you how to survive.

Abandon all hope
The first and most helpful step towards getting over a break-up is, unfortunately, also the hardest: let go. Give up all hope of continuing a relationship with your ex. Hope will hold you back and stop you processing the loss. Why? It’s psychological. The five stages of grief were first identified by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. If you continue to hope that the split isn’t real, you are keeping yourself in stage one, Denial. But by forcing yourself to believe it’s over, you will deliberately move yourself towards Acceptance. Yes, you might get trapped temporarily in Depression – we’ll get to that in a moment. So, face facts. Replay the final conversation you had with your ex. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are no longer in a couple with your ex. If you see your eyes fill with tears, that’s actually, strangely, an excellent sign: the faster you accept the split, the quicker you’ll begin to heal.

No Contact
As soon as Denial has been crushed, you might move forwards into Anger. Find yourself texting furious messages to your ex? Yep, you’re there. The next step towards bouncing-back is to cut off all contact with your ex. Relationship author Dr Patricia Allen says when couples spend time together, they both release the hormone Oxytocin which can create a very strong bond between them, similar to an addiction. To move on, your body has to be starved of its “fix” of your partner. So don’t text, write, meet or talk on the phone. Don’t wear their old T-shirts in bed, or smell their perfume or aftershave. If this is impossible – if you work together, for example, or have children together – then minimise the amount of face-to-face contact you have and keep any interaction brief and businesslike.

Eat yourself happy

During a break-up, most of us eat nothing or we eat *everything*. Speed up your recovery time by nourishing yourself with things proven to boost your mood. Sadly, that’s not ice-cream, alcohol, or even chocolate – new research shows that chocolate doesn’t affect the brain positively after all. (Forget you read that, if you like.) Instead, snack on walnuts and foods rich in Omega-3 like oily fish – both will raise the levels of Serotonin in your brain and cheer you up. US research has shown that people who eat a carbohydrate-rich breakfast report higher mood-levels all day than those who don’t, so load up on cereal and whole-grain toast. If you’re finding it hard to sleep, eat a carbohydrate-heavy snack like popcorn 30 minutes before bedtime as it will promote drowsiness.

Move
Exercise will improve your mood BUT it has to be the right kind of exercise. Walking alone for two hours might be soothing and calming but it won’t cheer you up. For the biggest highs, exercise in groups or in rapid, intense bursts. Scientists at Oxford University’s Institute of Cognitive & Evolutionary Anthropology have discovered that exercising in groups causes a bigger release of endorphins than exercising alone. So, group classes at the gym or taking dance-classes are great ways to lift your mood along with your butt. Also, research conducted at the University of California has shown that short bursts of intense exercise and heavy weightlifting release higher levels of endorphins than lighter weights or steady exercises like swimming or jogging. They recommend you exercise in 30-minute sessions at 80% of your capacity, and include sprinting for the highest happiness possible.

Set new goals
The worst part of a break-up is how it can leave your life in pieces. The best part of a break-up is that it forces you to rebuild. For better or worse, you now have to start again so turn that into a positive experience. Start planning new things. Dopamine – one of the brain’s happy chemicals – thrives on novelty, so even making small changes like trying a new latte at the coffee-shop will begin lifting your spirits. Then reach further – is it time to change your job, your house or your image? Fancy dipping your toe into online-dating, to show yourself new people are waiting for you? What did you always long to do with your life that wasn’t supported by your ex? Now’s the time to try. If you follow the rest of the advice above, this final step will be easy. Regular exercise and healthy eating will have given you confidence in achieving goals, and accepting the split and steering clear of your ex will encourage you to focus back on your life. Take a big blank sheet of paper and write down – in big, bold letters! – what you want to achieve in the next 12 months. Have fun with it, play and be optimistic. Pin it up in your bedroom and look at it every morning, and be proud of it, your very first Declaration of Independence!

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