When Samuel and Vivian got married, they had envisioned a life full of bliss and devoid of internal wrangling. They felt that their love was so strong that all the stories about how couples, over the years, drift apart due to one reason or the other could not affect them.
And so, for the first six months they had a jolly good relationship and everything was going on well, until Samuel bought an iPad for himself and a blackberry for his wife to celebrate their sixth month anniversary.
At first, Vivian didn’t mind when Samuel would return home from work and remain fixated on his iPad for countless hours, allegedly replying mails and being ‘updated’ on Twitter because her Blackberry Messenger (BBM) also kept her busy. However, when she realised that they hardly spent an hour a day discussing anything, she began to fret. Sometimes, she discovered that she learnt about certain things or how her husband was feeling via his status messages on Facebook, Twitter or Blackberry Messenger.
When she confronted him, they got into an argument which degenerated into fisticuffs, with Vivian accusing Samuel of marital negligence. At the end of it all, the realisation dawned on them that they had given more time to the social media on their gadgets than actual interactions with one another.
So, the question posed by Nigerian Tribune to Nigerians is, “Has social media succeeded in destroying real life relationships? While many are quick to argue that the social media has brought the world together and helped make access to communication with a larger number of people from anywhere in the world easier, some opine that social media, while promoting ‘virtual’ relationships, lessens actual chances of allowing users to meet their contacts in real life.
Emeka Oku, an IT consultant in Abuja said, “When you know that the person you desire to contact can be reached on Facebook, Twitter or on any other platform, you decide to sit in the comfort of your room and discuss for hours. Social media has lessened, considerably, the need to go on actual dates with a loved one. Now, with Skype you can video chat; on Blackberry Messenger, you can text chat for hours and so on. Even if you go out to meet such a person, you find both parties reaching for their smartphones or tablets to update their statuses or check up on pending messages. It’s really sad because we have become like robots and slaves to technology.”
Another respondent, Mrs Folashade Adeyemi, a social worker said, “Our children are growing up, learning the culture where their parents spend more time in front of different screens than interact with one another. Thus, they feel that this is the normal way of life and grow up to become loners. Many become victims of society especially when they have no one to talk to at home whenever they face any problems. It is important that people take time to switch off their phones and mobile devices from time to time and discover the real world.”
According to Wale Adebisi, a doctor at the University College Hospital, Ibadan, the cases where people become social misfits but prefer the comfort of the four walls of their homes are fast becoming a norm in today’s society.
“You find such people with hundreds of friends on social media, but very few real friends who can come to visit. Such people are very vocal online, but would find it hard to express themselves when they are in the midst of real people. They become societal misfits and this affects their individuality,” he said.
He encouraged people to find ways to distract and detach themselves from networking devices and find a favourite pastime that will involve interaction with friends and loved ones.
Also, medical experts have advised against spending too much time in front of various screens as it predisposes one to many health risks including obesity, eye strains, headaches, cramps and so on. However, with more and more content pushed online and the internet’s increasing popularity, getting people to spend less time with internet connected gadgets becomes a herculean task.
“This thing is destructive to human relationship,” a working mother of one who simply identified herself as Eniola, pointed out when asked to comment on the impact of social media on human relations. “I am somebody who is very busy; I don’t have time for social media until maybe after four o’clock in the afternoon after work hours. But when I get home, sometimes I prefer chatting on my phone to talking with my husband. Even my husband can spend time chatting on the phone when we are at home together,” Eniola said.
Mr Shola Olaseinde, a multi-level marketing professional, had this to say on the subject, “if you are the outgoing type, even if you have all the BlackBerrys in the world, you will still be who you are,” he said, explaining the point that social media could not turn an average extrovert into a recluse.
However, speaking about introverts, he said, “But if you are not (an extrovert), it will take you farther and you have to be conscious of the people around you and your time. You have to be conscious of who you are. If you are the type that spends a lot of time on BBM, or Facebook, you will not be productive, even to yourself and to society. There should be a limit to it. You can contact your friends afar off through Facebook or on BBM. But if you have your friends with you around you, why are you on BBM? It destroys the fabric of the society. But when you manage it well, you don’t allow it to control your life. You don’t have to allow it control your life; you control it; you set a time for it. It is like eating too. If you eat too much, it is bad. Too much of everything is bad.”
Olawande Esan, a student said, “Well, I think I would like to sit on the fence like the famous humpty dumpty on this one. There is a flip side to this either good or bad, but I would say yes and no. The social media has been a great help and at the same time has its own vices, but like people say, there is always the advantage and disadvantage. As a legal practitioner, the social media helps a lot. It has been a dependable means of outcry of injustice in different legal aspects. It comes in extremely handy on the job. I get write ups, decided cases, journals and news in all aspects from every part of the world because I don’t have time to read the papers. However, it is equally a channel of unnecessary exposure to ills on the part of teenagers and young adults.”
Umo Asuquo: “I believe that it is more on the positive side so I would disagree, the social media has done more good than harm. Yes, it has disadvantages but come to think of it these days you could do anything at the snap of your finger, get whatever information you need and be in any part of the world by getting feeds. The good part definitely outweighs the bad. I am not ignorant of the havoc associated with it but let’s face it, social media has made life much easier and made communication less tedious.
Olubunmi Folarin, however, disagreed with Asuquo. In her submission, she said, “Well there is nothing created that has an advantage without a disadvantage. I would say yes. It has done more harm than good because it has been drastically abused. People are misusing social media that sometimes you want to question the reason for its creation, but nevertheless it was made with good intentions. It is too bad that man always finds a way to ruin things.”
Collins Omofuwa also agrees with Folarin. Said he, “I would say it has done more harm and I say this for a reason. The world is becoming an extremely perverse place and this has been highly facilitated by the social media. You cannot fathom what a teenager or a young adult can do these days via the social media. This trend will eventually destroy the future of any nation. These children are supposed to be the hope for tomorrow and the future leaders but the level of social media misuse makes me doubt that. For instance, look at the case of the young girl that was lured and killed via Facebook and much recently, a video of a young girl that was raped was uploaded on Facebook. That says it all.”
While different people have different views regarding if the social media is indeed becoming a menace to society, most agree that moderation is key to achieving the best in life.
And so, for the first six months they had a jolly good relationship and everything was going on well, until Samuel bought an iPad for himself and a blackberry for his wife to celebrate their sixth month anniversary.
At first, Vivian didn’t mind when Samuel would return home from work and remain fixated on his iPad for countless hours, allegedly replying mails and being ‘updated’ on Twitter because her Blackberry Messenger (BBM) also kept her busy. However, when she realised that they hardly spent an hour a day discussing anything, she began to fret. Sometimes, she discovered that she learnt about certain things or how her husband was feeling via his status messages on Facebook, Twitter or Blackberry Messenger.
When she confronted him, they got into an argument which degenerated into fisticuffs, with Vivian accusing Samuel of marital negligence. At the end of it all, the realisation dawned on them that they had given more time to the social media on their gadgets than actual interactions with one another.
So, the question posed by Nigerian Tribune to Nigerians is, “Has social media succeeded in destroying real life relationships? While many are quick to argue that the social media has brought the world together and helped make access to communication with a larger number of people from anywhere in the world easier, some opine that social media, while promoting ‘virtual’ relationships, lessens actual chances of allowing users to meet their contacts in real life.
Emeka Oku, an IT consultant in Abuja said, “When you know that the person you desire to contact can be reached on Facebook, Twitter or on any other platform, you decide to sit in the comfort of your room and discuss for hours. Social media has lessened, considerably, the need to go on actual dates with a loved one. Now, with Skype you can video chat; on Blackberry Messenger, you can text chat for hours and so on. Even if you go out to meet such a person, you find both parties reaching for their smartphones or tablets to update their statuses or check up on pending messages. It’s really sad because we have become like robots and slaves to technology.”
Another respondent, Mrs Folashade Adeyemi, a social worker said, “Our children are growing up, learning the culture where their parents spend more time in front of different screens than interact with one another. Thus, they feel that this is the normal way of life and grow up to become loners. Many become victims of society especially when they have no one to talk to at home whenever they face any problems. It is important that people take time to switch off their phones and mobile devices from time to time and discover the real world.”
According to Wale Adebisi, a doctor at the University College Hospital, Ibadan, the cases where people become social misfits but prefer the comfort of the four walls of their homes are fast becoming a norm in today’s society.
“You find such people with hundreds of friends on social media, but very few real friends who can come to visit. Such people are very vocal online, but would find it hard to express themselves when they are in the midst of real people. They become societal misfits and this affects their individuality,” he said.
He encouraged people to find ways to distract and detach themselves from networking devices and find a favourite pastime that will involve interaction with friends and loved ones.
Also, medical experts have advised against spending too much time in front of various screens as it predisposes one to many health risks including obesity, eye strains, headaches, cramps and so on. However, with more and more content pushed online and the internet’s increasing popularity, getting people to spend less time with internet connected gadgets becomes a herculean task.
“This thing is destructive to human relationship,” a working mother of one who simply identified herself as Eniola, pointed out when asked to comment on the impact of social media on human relations. “I am somebody who is very busy; I don’t have time for social media until maybe after four o’clock in the afternoon after work hours. But when I get home, sometimes I prefer chatting on my phone to talking with my husband. Even my husband can spend time chatting on the phone when we are at home together,” Eniola said.
Mr Shola Olaseinde, a multi-level marketing professional, had this to say on the subject, “if you are the outgoing type, even if you have all the BlackBerrys in the world, you will still be who you are,” he said, explaining the point that social media could not turn an average extrovert into a recluse.
However, speaking about introverts, he said, “But if you are not (an extrovert), it will take you farther and you have to be conscious of the people around you and your time. You have to be conscious of who you are. If you are the type that spends a lot of time on BBM, or Facebook, you will not be productive, even to yourself and to society. There should be a limit to it. You can contact your friends afar off through Facebook or on BBM. But if you have your friends with you around you, why are you on BBM? It destroys the fabric of the society. But when you manage it well, you don’t allow it to control your life. You don’t have to allow it control your life; you control it; you set a time for it. It is like eating too. If you eat too much, it is bad. Too much of everything is bad.”
Olawande Esan, a student said, “Well, I think I would like to sit on the fence like the famous humpty dumpty on this one. There is a flip side to this either good or bad, but I would say yes and no. The social media has been a great help and at the same time has its own vices, but like people say, there is always the advantage and disadvantage. As a legal practitioner, the social media helps a lot. It has been a dependable means of outcry of injustice in different legal aspects. It comes in extremely handy on the job. I get write ups, decided cases, journals and news in all aspects from every part of the world because I don’t have time to read the papers. However, it is equally a channel of unnecessary exposure to ills on the part of teenagers and young adults.”
Umo Asuquo: “I believe that it is more on the positive side so I would disagree, the social media has done more good than harm. Yes, it has disadvantages but come to think of it these days you could do anything at the snap of your finger, get whatever information you need and be in any part of the world by getting feeds. The good part definitely outweighs the bad. I am not ignorant of the havoc associated with it but let’s face it, social media has made life much easier and made communication less tedious.
Olubunmi Folarin, however, disagreed with Asuquo. In her submission, she said, “Well there is nothing created that has an advantage without a disadvantage. I would say yes. It has done more harm than good because it has been drastically abused. People are misusing social media that sometimes you want to question the reason for its creation, but nevertheless it was made with good intentions. It is too bad that man always finds a way to ruin things.”
Collins Omofuwa also agrees with Folarin. Said he, “I would say it has done more harm and I say this for a reason. The world is becoming an extremely perverse place and this has been highly facilitated by the social media. You cannot fathom what a teenager or a young adult can do these days via the social media. This trend will eventually destroy the future of any nation. These children are supposed to be the hope for tomorrow and the future leaders but the level of social media misuse makes me doubt that. For instance, look at the case of the young girl that was lured and killed via Facebook and much recently, a video of a young girl that was raped was uploaded on Facebook. That says it all.”
While different people have different views regarding if the social media is indeed becoming a menace to society, most agree that moderation is key to achieving the best in life.
