A Must Read : Gains and Flaws of having a Relationship

Relationships these days has it gains and flaws. These are the Merits and demerits of not having a boyfriend or girlfriend ;

Merit...........

1. No jealousy of any form

2. Economical

3. No arguments

4. Freedom

5. No suffering, no doubts

6. No social boundaries

7.Save time and money

8.No need to recharge twice a day


Demerits.........

1. No one to kiss

2 No one to hold hands with

3. No dance partner

4. No one to confide in

5. No one to ask about your day

6. No one to enjoy fun events with

7. No one to be your "guest" to a wedding

8. No one to help each other

9. No one to laugh with

10.Your sperm will turn to ICE before you get married......LOL - See more at: http://niggistt.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-benefits-of-not-having-boyfriend-or.html#sthash.KDx9Y5Jg.dpuf

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Yvonne Okoro says I’d rather be miserable than be in a relationship

Yvonne Okoro

Voluptuous beauty, half-Nigerian, half-Ghanaian actress, Yvonne Okoro, isn’t exactly the kind of damsel you would think is in distress.
She has nothing on her to cut that image and it doesn’t appear her career is in danger either. If the beautifully endowed sexy actress should come under any observation, I guess the lots would be in her favour as she seems to be doing better than ever, career wise.
Yvonne-Okoro11But her post on the Instagram last week placed a huge question mark on the state of mind of the actress. The declaration “ I would rather be lonely and miserable than be in a relationship” wouldn’t pass for any woman who is fulfilled as a woman, even though the career is on the up and up.
It wasn’t until further checks were run on what could have brought about that rather gloomy assertion that the whole scenario began to make sense. It turned out Yvonne’s post was an extract from a previous interview the talented actress granted on relationships.
“If you give me all the attention and make me laugh I think that’s it. I am not in a relationship, not because I don’t want to. Let me correct that, because you go somewhere and people say `oh, I am happy with just my job’ but the truth is nobody is happy being single. Again you hear  `I don’t want to get married now’ I think it’s a lie.
“In my opinion, it’s because your master hasn’t come yet. My mother always says that once your master comes you don’t need anyone to tell you to go, you’ll go. I haven’t had my master yet but the truth of the matter is, because of what I do, I meet people.
“However, it’s so difficult for me to meet single people, it’s so difficult as well to trust people and that is the problem. At a point, you realize that they treated you like a trophy and showed you off because you are on television. The ideal relationship for me would be to hang out with my boyfriend and his friends, who won’t even care that I am an actress.
“At this age, I don’t see the point of dating someone and knowing deep down that it’s not going to go far. I would rather be lonely and miserable than be in a relationship and be happy for a short while; then walk away because I realized this is not the kind of man I want to be with.
I’d rather stay put until my master comes. But what if my master comes at a time I am with somebody, then what, I have to bounce him”.
Going by her post last Wednesday, it does appear, the actress hasn’t found her master yet and this must have bothered her enough to reach out and tell the world she is still single, willing and very much available.

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Guys, Pay Attention: 8 Things Women (DESPERATELY) Want From Men

There’s a joke doing the rounds that ‘A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s That’s because she changes it more often’.

Well, what women want still remains the unanswered question across the globe. However, men needn’t lose hope for all is not lost. There are still a good number of things that most women like. Here are a few from the long list which can perhaps help you make her fall head over heels in love with you. Take your pick to woo and sweep her off her feet!

1. SupermanWomen love to be protected. So show in more ways than one to prove that you will be her saviour should your damsel land in distress! Women are always in awe of men who can step up in times of conflicts. Be sure you grab every opportunity that situation throws at you.

2. Smell good
Deodorant Ads may be going overboard showing men being lured by women’s perfume. But the other way is also true. Choose a deo that suits you. Especially if it’s your first date, it’s best not to try anything experimental. Know what smells best on you. Remember, what smelt heavenly on your friend might stink on your skin! For everything depends on your body odour. When you spray perfume on your body, what you smell is a combination of the deo spray and your body odour. Choose wise.

3. Surprises galore
Women love surprises be it chocolates, love notes, gifts or even a bouquet of flowers. Women don’t mind them in any numbers. You are sure to score brownie points with this one!

4. Transparency
Honesty is still the best policy. Never lie to her if you are thinking of a long-term relationship. Never mind you will face some initial flak, but eventually you will win over her trust.

5. Perfect body
What with the celebrities being obsessed with getting a six pack or eight pack abs, girls too go ga ga over men with a well-toned body. Get into the habit of regular workout so you can make heads turn!

6. Dress well

Nothing turns off a women than a poorly-dressed man. Do a style-check, spot the trends in fashion, speak to a stylist to find out what looks best on you. Clothes maketh man literally!

7. Crowning glory
Nothing like a funky haircut! A good hairstyle can give you a different look altogether. What are you waiting for? Get that stunner look so you can impress that chick you have been eyeing.

8. Magic of your hands

You might have taken your girlfriend to the hottest restaurants in town, yet she will not mind if you can cook one of her favourite dishes (or even plain instant noodles) when she’s hungry. Such moments are never forgotten.

There’s a joke doing the rounds that ‘A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s That’s because she changes it more often’. However, there are some things that remain constant.

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7 Reasons Why Younger Men Date Older Women

1) For Fun
Cyndi Lauper says “Girls just want to have fun”. So, go ahead and enjoy a younger man who is looking for fun too. Sometimes life brings you an opportunity just for the sake of a good time. Nothing wrong with that. It’s what the movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” was all about. A fling with a young man brought Stella back to the joys of her life.

2) For Status
Older women are more accomplished. Many have high-powered jobs and are very affluent, with the coin to enjoy the good things in life. For eons, older men have dated younger women and they still do. So, it stands to reason that today’s younger men are looking for the benefits that come from dating someone older and more established. There’s a certain status that comes with dating a person of power and presence.

And let’s face it, successful women desire what older men have known for years – dating younger helps keep you young and brings back the glow of youth. Sounds good to me! Stop objecting to older men who want “arm candy”. It’s finally your turn. If you want some arm candy, go find some.

3) For Avoiding the Ticking Bio Clock
Women in their 30′s are often worried about their biological clocks ticking and with good reason. However, an older woman is past thinking “family” or already has her family. This takes the pressure off a younger man. With an older woman, he can actually side step the family thing and simply focus on you babe. How nice is that?

4) For Oedipus
The Oedipus complex, a psychological term coined by Sigmund Freud, is actually based on Greek mythology and a tragic play by Socrates. The briefest explanation – when a young seeks the love of his mother – from another woman. Sort of like replaying his family drama.

Maybe he looks up to you. Maybe he appreciates your ability to nurture and the wisdom that only time can foster. It’s flattering when someone looks up to you. One of the best ways to learn life’s lessons is through a mentor and as you play the expert, you can savor the companionship of a delightful younger man.

5) For Lust
Maybe you’re hot and he wants you. Not a bad thing right? After all, nature has played a trick on humans with women reaching their intimate peak later in life and men reaching it earlier. This is a way to balance things out!

Not only that, but if a younger man finds you attractive, whether or not you go for it, his attention can boost your self esteem. Allow yourself to pump up your ego and feel like the attractive, alluring woman that you really are. Revel in it!

6) For Experience
Let’s say you are a younger man who hasn’t been with a lot of women. You’d like the short course from someone who could show you the way. Bingo! Some younger men date older women simply to gain experience. What a service you are doing for the younger women he’ll come in contact with later in life.

The teacher/student type of relationship is a classic. Just keep it out of the classroom and over 21 and you’ll be all set for a eye-opening and inspiring interaction. Plus, this type of relationship gives you a chance to be the chic in charge which can be a real kick. Why not show someone younger how to create romance and connection and benefit from the fun?

7) For Love
The last reason, but not the least, is LOVE. Some younger men can’t help who they fall for. He saw you, was struck by your beauty, charm and confidence, and fell head over heels. It happens. Really it does. Ask Katie Couric and Brooke Perlin, and countless others. It’s all the rage in Hollywood and for good reason.

The May-December romance which was frowned upon years ago, has now become totally acceptable. In addition, I say, let’s here it for those younger men who have the good sense to fall for an older woman like you! They have excellent taste.

Next Steps
Stop fretting about what a younger guy sees in you and enjoy his attention and affection. You deserve every flattering, delicious moment, so sit back and count your blessings

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Things that mean More to men than "I love you"

Actions speak louder

You’ve heard it before: Men are visual; women are verbal. Men are impulsive; women like to analyze things. Men are from Mars; women are from Venus. So since husbands and wives are opposite in many ways, it makes sense that male and female hearts swell for different reasons.

While you probably smile when your mate says, “I love you,” those same three words from you may not do much for him. Here, 11 gestures that show you care and why they’re more meaningful to the guy in your life.

1.Your undivided attention

“When the male brain sees you checking your iPhone during dinner, it interprets that as ‘I’m not important,’” says marriage therapist Mike Dow, PsyD. That’s because men’s brains evolved to do one thing at a time while filtering out all other stimuli, he explains.

Even though women function differently (you know firsthand how well you multitask), your man will appreciate you focusing solely on him. “It says, ‘You are my priority, and I love you,” adds Dr. Dow. So make eye contact while he’s talking and limit interruptions.

2 His favorite meal 

That old adage is true: “The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly,” says Dr. Dow. “Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. And the couples I’ve treated who know small details about each other have the happiest marriages.”

But maybe your husband likes everything you make! In that case, try breaking out the pumpkin pie. Research by Alan Hirsch, PhD, of the Smell & Taste Research Foundation in Chicago has shown that that sweet scent arouses men more than other aromas.

3. Wearing that dress he loves you in 

Dolling up sends the message that you still want to look good for him, no matter how long you’ve been together. “Men’s brains are wired to respond to visual cues more than women’s brains,” says Dr. Dow. “Seeing you in that sexy dress shows him you desire him.”

And a scarlet number may work best. A study by researchers at the University of Rochester in New York found that ladies in red are an aphrodisiac to men.

4. Taking care of yourself 

Shedding stress, eating right, exercising, quitting smoking and even pampering yourself may sound like treats for you, but they’re also ways to show you love him.

“This communicates, ‘I want to have a long, wonderful life with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent you from experiencing the grief of losing someone,’” says Dr. Dow. What better motivation is there to get healthy?

5. Complimenting him

Throughout time, men have had to fight and provide to attract and keep women—and they aren’t afraid to pull out the masculinity measuring sticks when potential competitors come around. Let your husband know you think of him the way he’d love to be seen: as a provider, problem-solver, handyman, s**x stud and knight in shining armor.

“Genuine compliments on his looks and strength confirm that you admire him, which equates to love,” says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD. When he pops the lid on the jam jar with ease, mention that you enjoy having such a strong man around. He’ll beam—and chalk it up as a reason you chose him over all those other guys.

6. Encouraging him to take time for himself

While you may not hesitate to ask for you time, your husband may have trouble verbalizing what he needs. Occasionally, suggest he take a day to relax with friends, play video games, work on the car or just sleep in.

“This shows support and allows him the freedom to do what he needs to be his best self,” says Dr. Brosh. Your husband will see hassle-free, worry-free, chore-free time as a loving reward.

7. Asking his advice 

Your man wants to feel like an important part of your world. On top of that, he’s a hard-wired problem-solver. Ask for his opinion on how to approach the boss for a raise, and you prove you trust and value his judgment.

“When a man can fix something, he feels competent and useful,” says Dr. Brosh.

“Asking for advice shows that you rely on him and that there’s a place for him in your life. Need, dependency and love go hand in hand.”

8. Thanking him for the little things 

Next time your husband drives the kids to school or takes out the trash, express your gratitude. “We’re rushing through life, we forget to notice the good deeds and guys forget to say what they need from you, but they have feelings, too.

So say, ‘I really appreciate that,’” says licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of BetheSmartWife.com. Giving thanks will improve his attitude and infuse your relationship with a feel-good energy.

9. A lengthy hug 

Instead of a quick peck before running out the door, choose a lingering embrace. “While women connect verbally, men connect more through touch,” says Goldstein. “Hug for at least seven seconds. It’s a long time, but there’s something about that number where the hold ends up really giving him something.” And there’s no doubt you’ll like it, too.

10. A quickie 

Making love for an hour is nice, but once in a while, made love for just a few minutes, suggests Dr. Dow. Although women get that loving feeling with a rise in oxytocin (what you release during that post-coital cuddling session), men feel it with an increase in dopamine, the chemical they release during sex which stimulates the mental pleasure-and-reward center, explains Dr. Dow.

“I hope that most of the time, your lovemaking is full of foreplay and romance. But other times, just made love.”

11. Letting him vent 

The latest office drama or family fight plays on his emotions more than he’d like to let on. So create a safe space for your guy to let his walls down. “Listen to his worries or problems without trying to fix them,” advises Dr. Brosh. “It shows him you don’t deem him weak or inadequate and affords him a place in the relationship to share that part of his life. Moreover, it shows you care.” If he comes home from work in a bad mood, ask him if he wants to let it out. If not, that’s fine—but he may need a prod to open the floodgates.

 

Source: womansday

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Making love on the First Date - What's the Big Deal?

I’m sure all the 'Holier than thou peeps' are about to get their panties in a bunch just from the title alone, but, nonetheless I’m here to talk about having sex. And doing it on the first date - I mean doing it hard on the first date. I’m a 21st century woman, and a lover of sex.

I don’t consider myself an "ashawo" or anything like that but I do believe in sexual freedom, meaning if I want to have sex, I simply do gorgeously. I don’t need permission or clearance to do so. I’m sure some people have already called me names from my statement, but whatever.

I was having a discussion with a few friends over drinks (that’s when everyone was honest) and the issue of sex on the first date came up.

Oh!! Before I go into all that we discussed, let me give a mini story.

A while ago, one or two years ago, maybe.

I was introduced to a guy by a mutual friend via facebook.

A very good looking guy.

After a few messages and chats on fb.

We connected on BB, and chatted up a bit.

Over the next few days.

We talked and got to know each other better, and all that good stuff.

Eventually I agreed to go out on a date with him.

The date was as good as any date I had been on.

He was just as handsome as I expected via his pictures.

His look and body configurations captivated and ensnared my heart.

We talked about a range of topics, and he pretty much impressed me with his intellects, and vast knowledge on a lot of things.

This guy was very well rounded.

After dinner,

we headed to a bar,

had a few drinks,

Then we’re in the club dancing the night away, and I was having a good time of my life.

Slow dancing,

Extra touching,

Eyes fixing,

And, one thing led to another

In a nutshell, we found ourselves at his apartment making out on the couch.

Pause....

Now at this point, the girl in me is thinking

“Slow Down”

But everything else points to letting things flow.

And let it flow, I did.

We had sex. I mean great sex if I may add.

That was beginning of a 15 months relationship.

We broke up eventually for numerous reasons but we remain friends.

Now, back to the present,

I told my friends of my sex on the first date and how it leads to my last relationship.

To my surprise I was judged by almost everyone.

The guys,

The girls,

And, I’m sure the bottles too.

“How could you?” was their yelling

“That’s ashawo behaviour”

“That’s probably why you guys didn’t last”

“He never respected you.”

You would think I offered to have sex with him for money on the first date.

I personally think that if it feels right, then go ahead with it.

I’ve done the whole “wait for the 3rd date” thing, and guess what?

After that date where we had sex, a few days later he was acting funny.

And a week or 2 later he was history.

I have friends who hold out for months.

Once the guy gets the nookie, he bails.

So really, what’s the big deal with having sex on the first date?

Why place so much emphasis on it?

I’m of the opinion that it’s only an immature and insecure man that’ll hold that against you.

One common statement I get from guys is

“Well if it was that easy for one guy, then maybe it’s easy for everyone.”

Negative.

Not every guy is able to win me over like that.

One guy might take a few hours, and another might take 6 weeks.

It’s all based on chemistry to me.

Then again I might be wrong…

…I would think we would have gotten over this,

but in 2012 are we (women) still being judged by when we put out?

Guys, what’s your opinion of a girl you have sex with on the first date?

Ladies, would you have sex with a guy on the first date?

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How do I tell him I'm not always in the mood?

I am a happily married woman. I love my husband to distraction and I find him extremely sexy and hot.

Plus, my husband is a stallion in bed, always trying different positions and moves.

- How do I tell him I really do not like doggy style? It hurts.

I fear he might just sulk and not talk to me If I tell him. You know how men are like big babies.


- How do I tell him I am not always in the mood, I don’t enjoy it when he feels like he is seducing me after I tell him “later”. I usually let him have his way but feel exhausted and weirdly used.


- Why must he want sex every day? For goodness sake, is it food? Not like I do not enjoy it but I do not enjoy it every day.

What is wrong with just cuddling your wife for the night? Or just holding her tight without you know? Sometimes a woman picks a fight with you in the hope that you ll be angry and stay off her for that night. Not my husband, he will still “seduce” me and after still be fighting with me.


Is this happening to only me? If it has happened to you, how have you been able to handle it and resolve the tension? And if you are a man, what is your opinion about these things. Thank you.

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60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1.) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus

2) We are just as shy as you are about relationships

3) Many of us don't let you see us cry, unless we want you to comfort us

4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if you are interested. But we will later deny it or make it into a joke

5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot or sexy. But not all of us


6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for you (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if you don't like what we wear say something likely look really nice today, but you know...I think I like you in jeans better'

7) We travel in groups for one of two reasons 1) because we want to share some form of gossip with each other or get advice on something 2) B/c we don't want to get caught by ourselves with you because we won't know what to say and are afraid we'll make a fool of ourselves

MOST girls spend about 15% of the time thinking about specific guys, 20% thinking of guys in general, 25% thinking of how to get guys to notice us and what to say when we do, 30% of the time TALKING about guys (even if someone else isn't listening), and 10% of the time doing something else

9) Girls automatically assume that all guys are ***** and only want to get into our pants until you prove otherwise (and even then some small part of us still thinks that)

10) Most girls are under the impression that guys only want skinny 'hot' girls

11) Most girls enjoy being paraded around once in awhile in front of your friends. We enjoy having you show us off to your friends, kind of like, 'Hey, look at my hot ass girlfriend! Aren't you jealous?" But we don't enjoy being nothing but a trophy girl

12) Nicknames like "Babe, or darling" are safe to call just about any girl. But beware of "Princess or Angel". Some girls will take offense to this thinking you are calling them to innocent or incapable of taking care of themselves.

13) Speaking of nicknames, almost every girl has ONE nickname that they just love to be called

14) Most girls will drop lots of hints to tell you that they like you, but won't come right out and say" I like you" or "I love you". If you think they like you, there is a good chance they do.

15) Scenario time! -You like a girl named Ashley, Ashley has a friend named Brenda. Brenda comes up you in the hall and asks "Do you like Ashley?"

More often than not in this scenario Ashley asked Brenda to ask you because she is to shy to ask you herself. And even if she didn't the first thing Brenda is going to do with your answer is tell Ashley. Now you are thinking "WHAT!? NO!! DON"T TELL HER THAT!!!" but in reality, this is a good thing. Because there is a good chance she already likes you. And if she doesn't, she will now be looking at you in a different way, and let me tell you. It's a lot easier to fall for a guy if you already know they like you. So its safe. So go ahead and tell Brenda that you like Ashley. Take a chance.

16) Girls hate it when guys say perverted things.

17) Girls love to feel special, even though they might not show it

18) Girls talk about everything with their girl friends. So unless you tell us not to tell them about something, they WILL know about it within 3 days. And if you are the girl's boyfriend, that means, you're possibly 90% of their conversation. And believe me, trash talking takes up most of it, unless you're a Greek god, which you're not...

19) Girls hate guys with bad hygiene.

20) Girls love it when a guy pulls them close by the waist

21) Most girls like a guy that will willing dance with them, even if he doesn't know how

22) Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means they're attracted to you, but are afraid that they'll be showing too much

23) A kiss on the hand with the right timing can be a REAL TURN-ON

24) Some girls can think about their crushes for 18+ hours straight. No exaggeration

25) When a guy says something really sentimental, girls will remember it forever

26) Girls get embarrassed easily, even if guys don't know what the hell just happened.

27) Girls daydream about their crushes ALL the time. They just don't show it.

28) When a girl is upset and wants you to listen, she wants you to listen. She doesn't need you to fix it or tell her how to. She just wants you to listen.

29) When a girl is crying, she feels a lot safer if you pull her close and tell her that everything is going to be all right. And more likely than not, it will endear them to you more than anything else.

30) Girls love it when guys say their name

31) Girls love confidence

32) When a girl cooks for you, you know you mean a lot to her

33) Girls hate it when other girls flirt. Yet they flirt themselves too. Ah, the beauty of irony

34) We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

35) Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

36) Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.

37) No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe to us. Not because we don't like your taste in women, because believe me WE do! its just that...we don't want to have to wonder if she is better than us. And if she is a hoe, we are better. So it makes things simple for us.

38) We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it. But we CAN try and hide it.
39) Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not. Though we sometimes will tell you it is.

40) As far as you are concerned, we are beautiful at all times, and don't tell us different, unless you make it sound like a compliment (even if it isn't) Like, "You were really pretty yesterday when you wore -insert clothing/accessory here-, I think you should wear that more often"

41) Whatever you do, don't just show up at our house unexpected or at least without ringing the door bell...we run around in our underwear just like you do. And no matter how much you would like to see that, we will likely never talk to you again

42) DON'T CHEAT ON US. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be dirt.

43) We want you to beware of every male relative and all guy friends. All of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat. We just don't want you to be too obvious.

44) We enjoy being kissed by you in front of your friends. It makes us feel like you care a lot about us.

45) You don't have PMS; so don't act like you know what it's like. Don't try to understand...believe me you never will.

46) Violent statements like "If that guy keeps looking at you, I'm going to tear his head off" are appealing

47) We don't want you to say you love us if you don't mean it

48) We love it when you make eye contact with us while we talk.

49) Most girls are afraid of losing our independence to guys (for some unknown reason)

50) If you ask a girl out directly, more likely than not, she will say yes to you. Even if she only has lukewarm feelings for you, because it will give her the chance to get to know you better and get to like you even more.

51) Most girls love it when guys ask them for advice.

52) Girls like it when you tell us what you are thinking, even if you don't understand it yourself

53) After you've been dating for a while, realize that we really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond

54) There is nothing wrong with being attentive and sensitive. However, this behavior can be carried too far. You don't have to hang on our every word or give in to our every whim. The thrill of the chase doesn't end after the first successful pick-up line. If you don't present us with some minor challenges, we're likely to get bored, or worse, feel that you're creepy and obsessive.

55) Variety is the spice of life. There are patterns underlying what your woman says she likes and doesn't like. It would benefit you far more to try and discern the nature of these than to repeat everything she admits to enjoying until she no longer does

56) Most men think the chase ends once they have us, but truly it has only just began.You must work even harder to keep us then you do you earn us. We not some trophy you can earn,put on a shelf and admire. You have to care for us like the living human beings we are.(see 54)

57)WHEN WE SAY NO ITS NO, SO STOP ASKING!!!

58)If someone flirts with you, its a complement. If you're not interested, accept it but dont flirt back.

59)The woman in your life needs to hear how you feel about her, and often. Tell her now

60)All women are complicated, and it is doubtful any man will ever fully be able to understand us.But we know that, so its going to be ok.[/color]

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