Biggest movie flops of 2012
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| 2012 Movie Flop |
2012 is pretty much done and dusted - a year when Bond, Batman and friends came, saw and conquered the box-office. It's time we turn our attention to the year's biggest losers; the movies that performed gigantic bellyflops into empty cinemas.
With Hollywood's accounting even sketchier than that of our own bankers, it's tough to determine just how much money a film has lost, but the big-budget films almost always double their production budget with advertising costs: think ailing salesmen forking out on flash new cars to convince you they're not flat broke. It's far from an exact science, but we've calculated the year's biggest bombs. Take cover.
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| The Watch |
The Watch
Estimated loss: $40 million
What went wrong? Once again, we're left asking how a comedy could possibly rack up a budget of $68 million (minus Vince Vaughn's catering bill, obviously) when the most expensive special effects shot seemed to be an exploding cow. Following the tragic case of Trayvon Martin, who was killed by a neighbourhood watch volunteer, Fox changed the movie's title, claiming: "As the subject matter of this alien invasion comedy bears no relation whatsoever to the recent tragic events in Florida, the studio altered the title to avoid any accidental or unintended misimpression that it might." It seems the damage was already done; ‘The Watch’ only took $35 million in the US, perhaps suggesting that Ben Stiller is a spent cinematic force.
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| Thats My Boy |
That's My Boy
Estimated loss: $50 million
What went wrong? A straight-up, R-rated family comedy with nothing in the way of pricey special effects, expensive sets or big-money actors (unless you count Vanilla Ice), we're at a loss as to how 'That's My Boy' had a whopping production budget of $70 million in the first place. One can only assume star Adam Sandler requires to dine on Kobe beef and lobster smoothies between takes. The funnyman usually has a Midas touch at the box-office – this year's 'Hotel Transylvania' scared up $240m; even 'Jack & Jill' made money – but his loyal, easily-pleased fans deserted him this time. Frankly, we blame Vanilla Ice.
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| Total Recall |
Total Recall
Estimated loss: $55 million
What went wrong? The remake of the Paul Verhoeven action classic wasn't all that bad, it just compared poorly to the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger original. Underwhelmed audiences obviously thought the same, as they stayed away in droves. With the Austrian Oak making his own headlines and filling cinemas with 'The Expendables 2', it was left up to Colin Farrell to deputise, but Len Wiseman's identikit future thriller lacked the identity of its predecessor, totalling a worldwide gross just shy of $200 million. That's $60 million less than Arnie's version, and that's before you adjust for inflation.
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| Dark Shadows |
Dark Shadows
Estimated loss: $60 million
What went wrong? 'Dark Shadows' made a not-entirely-embarrassing worldwide gross of $240 million, but when you factor in how much Warner Bros. must have spent on advertising the damn thing (it briefly became law to have Johnny Depp's pale face on every bus in London), Tim Burton's vampire comedy bit hard. Could it be that audiences tired of the Burton and Depp combination after sitting through 'Edward Scissorhands', 'Ed Wood', 'Sleepy Hollow', 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory', 'Corpse Bride', 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street' and 'Alice In Wonderland'? No, that couldn't have been it. It must have been something else.
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| The Oogieloves |
The Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure
Estimated loss: $60 million
What went wrong? Everything. Technically the biggest ever box-office bomb ever to open in more than 2,000 screens, the worst thing about 'The Oogieloves In The Big Balloon Adventure' is that you still haven't heard of it. A kids movie that encouraged children to sing and dance in the aisles, starring puffy day-glo creations that looked like cheese nightmares come to life, 'The Oogieloves' crashed hard, racking up the worst ever opening weekend with a per-cinema box-office take of just $47. The hobos outside the cinema probably made more money. Don't expect a glitzy Leicester Square premiere for Goobie, Zoozie and Toofie, basically.
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| Rock of Ages |
Rock Of Ages
Estimated loss: $95 million
What went wrong? On the surface, 'Rock Of Ages' looked like an easy sell: based on a smash hit musical, with the biggest star in the world singing some of the most classic rock songs ever recorded, there was no chance it'd flop. Sadly, Tom Cruise singing 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' in a bejewelled codpiece does not a hit movie make; 'Rock Of Ages' wasn't fit to even strap the dungarees of Swedish movie monolith that was 'Mamma Mia!' (maybe an exclamation mark would have saved it). Critics hated it too: Guardian scribe Peter Bradshaw predicted, "like 'The Producers', it will be adapted back into the theatre, sometime in 2017, at which time it will be even more bland and tiring". Time to play that sad ballad, Tom.
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| Battleship |
Battleship
Estimated loss: $100 million
What went wrong? You mean, what went wrong for the movie that was based on a small plastic board game? We'd say everything went exactly as expected. Perhaps over-estimating the fan base of an ancient, table-based strategy game that hadn't been played by anyone under 50 for decades, Universal gambled big on 'Battleship', but it sank all the same. Perhaps the lead weight was star Taylor Kitsch, who was also captain of the good ship 'John Carter'? 'Battleship' made in-roads overseas, where it made four times its domestic take, but US audiences must have realised they'd reached their cultural nadir right about the time Kitsch put his 60,000 tonne ship into a powerslide to shoot some aliens.
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| Cloud Atlas |
Cloud Atlas
Estimated loss: $160 million (yet to open globally)
What went wrong? Though it might be premature to start hammering the nails in its coffin, given that it hasn't opened globally yet, it's fair to say 'Cloud Atlas' underperformed in the US market to a spectacular degree/ Costing an approximate $100 million (before you even take the ad budget into consideration), the epic Tom Hanks sci-fi was lost on American audiences, who perhaps didn't fancy sitting through a transcendent, three-hour, six-story love story when they could just stay in and watch 'The Avengers' on DVD again. 'Cloud Atlas' could dig its heels in in Asia, where much of it is set, but it'll be another black mark against the Wachowskis after 'Speed Racer' left behind considerable skidmarks in 2008
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| John Carter |
John Carter
Estimated loss: $200 million
What went wrong? A more pertinent question would be 'What went right?' Seemingly doomed from the start, with tales of its budget spiralling out of control during the shoot, 'John Carter' was an unqualified disaster. Originally titled 'John Carter Of Mars', Disney sensed that audiences might confuse it with their mega-flop of last year, 'Mars Needs Moms'. Unsurprisingly, the name change did nothing to salve John Carter's gushing wounds. A massive advertising budget – which desperately compared the movie to 'Avatar' and 'Star Wars' – just made things worse. 'John Carter' was such a bomb, Disney were forced to release a statement, saying "we expect the film to generate an operating loss of approximately $200 million." Don't feel too bad – they made that back on the opening weekend of 'The Avengers'.
